apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
