saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
