she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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