will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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