So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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