omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
did you just send me my own nude
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
A+ Viking dick
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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