we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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