so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
