i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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