I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
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if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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