Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
