you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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