I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
