i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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