I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
