Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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