Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize