I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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