Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
