i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
