when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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