I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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