Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
