idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
