Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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