I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
