It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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