Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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