she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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