got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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