trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I looked at my own cervix.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
