They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize