When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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