I cannot find my penis.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
