I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want nice things and good sex
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
