I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize