Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
