My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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