My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
