If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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