I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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