Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
soo... how was my night?
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