"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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