I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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