Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
