I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
