I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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