It's Friday. Sex?
my phone needs a breathalizer
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize