Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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