There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
