I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
