Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
