Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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