I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You ate ashes out of my bong
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
