just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
