If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
