A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
