This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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