She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
